Monday, September 21, 2015

Self-portrait with Rembrandt Self-portrait by C. K. Williams

Self-portrait with Rembrandt Self-portrait

I put my face inches from his
and look into his eyes
which look back,
but whatever it is
so much beyond suffering
I long towards in his gaze
and imagine inhabiting mine
eludes me. 

I put my face inches from his
face palette-knifed nearly raw,
scraped down to whatever it is
that denies flesh yet is flesh
but whatever it is
which still so exalts flesh,
even flesh scraped nearly raw,
eludes me. 

My face inches from his
face neither frowning
nor smiling nor susceptible 
any longer to any expression
but this watch, this regard;
whatever it is
I might keep of any of that
eludes me. 

My face inches from his,
his inches from mine,
whatever it is beyond
dying and fear of dying,
whatever it is beyond solace
which remains solace
eludes me,
yet no longer eludes me.

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