The Enterprise is Abandoned
I ’m not a fool, I knew from the beginning
what couldn’t happen. What couldn’t happen
didn’t. The enterprise is abandoned.
But half our life is
dreams, delirium, everything that underlies
that keeps alive the illusion of sanity, semi-
sanity, we allow
others to see. The half of me that feeds the rest
is in mourning. Mourns. Each time we must
mourn, we fear this is the final mourning, this time
mourning never will lift. A friend said when a lover
dies, it takes
two years. Then it lifts.
Inside those two years, you punish
not only the world,
At seventy-two, the future is what I mourn.
Since college I’ve never forgotten Masha
in The Seagull saying I am in mourning for my life.
She wears only black, she treats others with
and sudden punishment.
The enterprise is abandoned. And not.